Stressed Out

I'm in a dilemma....
i wanted to study in UOL but my dad said don't reach something that is impossible to be reached...
hiiii....
I have 3 choices that I've made
i)to study locally in INTI
ii)study in Taylor's College
iii)UOL in Singapore
I have chosen option (iii) as it was the best choice of all the options in type of course, duration, the tuition fees and all sort of stuff.
But I'm disappointed that my parents did not have any education fund for me to further my studies. I have wasted my two years in STPM and i don't wanna waste my time anymore as I'm getting elder.
with mum and dad having financial problem it's difficult for me to furthers my studies not in Singapore even locally too.
is it too much for what i am asking for...
yes, i admit that studying locally i might get study loans from maybe PTPTN or maybe from financial institutions easily...
but thinking of the durations and the cost...there are more benefits studying in Singapore
So, what should i do?
Should I quit studying and go on with working or what???
I'm sooo confused...
I hope I'll find a way to solve this problem ASAP....

first visit

6th of March was a tiring but a fun day for me...
My first trip to Singapore since i don't know when...

hahaha (",)...maybe people will thought that i am 'sua gu'

my journey started by taxi ride to Woodlands from JB town area...
Its quite a long journey to woodlands.
i just can't keep my eyes closed to look at the view surroundings...
quite a nice view but full with traffic condition...

maybe due to the terrorism problem, where a guy by the name of Mas Selamat bin Kastari.
He escaped from prison and some said he's still wondering around Singapore...

this is the fugitive: Mas Selamat bin Kastari

Now, Singapore having massive traffic jam nearby the immigration checkpoint thanks to that fellow...
i pity on the bike riders...
they have to queue every single day after finish working...
i can't imagine how long would they queue...!!!(OMG)
i guess sure at least more than one hour...
how did they live this type of life???(i cant imagine)
they still be patience just to get a better income there...
Wish them luck...+u +u

Next, i went to Orchard Road, and dine in Modesto with my friend Ling Sin and her buddies from the same university as hers.
It's a celebration of her upcoming birthday on the 9th of March, where soon she will be 20...(mine still a long way to go...) hahaha...
HAPPY SWEET 20, Ling Sin

Next we went to watch movie in one of the humongous emporium in Singapore...
well i don't quite know the place so i don't know the name...haha, such massive place..
We watched 10000 B.C...
really nice and interesting movie to be watched... should not miss it
the actress is really pretty and her eyes is really nice... envy her eyes (T_T)
We, in a group walk around the shopping complex, i saw lots of people wearing flip-flops, there and then i believe what my friend says...
"Singaporean loves to be simple"(i guess)...hahaha
Besides, there is a lot of 'Amo' which means Eurasian...
i just roaming around the complex and we went to arcade too...
well, i don't quite enjoy myself in arcade coz im quite tired waking up early in the morning to do my passport (OMG)...
Am i CRAZY or what???
P/S: i went to Singapore on the day i completely done my passport...
I guess i am... hahaha

We make our move around 6.15pm to the taxi station in woodlands by taxi...
then myself and a friend of mine need to wait for a taxi to go back to JB...
.
Quite late...
again thanks to him...
At the immigration, we still need to give our thumb print...but then i understand that that is their procedure... so, just let them do the identification...
Guess what my thumb print of course does NOT MATCH his...hahaha

we took around 1 hour to reach JB taxi stand..
so, then after that we just reached to the final destination ie JB....
then, i took my dinner in Warong Saga...a quite well known Malay stall in JB...
If can ya'all should try the sate there...delicious and marvelous...

dissapointed

what can i do right now....???
i'm soooo stupid 2 love him.... how can i love him, his my OMG i don't know what i should said....!!! can anyone help me? how could i do such thing...
it's a disgrace to my family... i shouldn't fall in love with him...
now i believe with the phrase "LOVE IS BLIND".

i'll see him once every year only...
since last year i know i been waiting for him...
but i keep it professional...
i know what i should and should not do...

both of us know what we should do...
just stay as normal, not more than that...

sometimes i felt like mighty God isn't fair...
why should i live in this cruel life like this....
it isn't fair for me...
i know i shouldn't complaint that much as other is more unfortunate than me...
but i have been a good girl, good child...
but why can't i get what i deserved for...????
maybe this is just an obstacles for me to get through...
i understand what His going to do...
i know we could not be together anyhow...
i wish he'll find a right girl that suitable for him...
God bless him...

so......
what can i do???

Just wait for another right guy to appear in the future...

newbie

hey...
tis is my first time started to blog...
tat's y im a newbie...hehehe

tis blog is the only way i could convey my my feeling either im sad, happy or moderate....
juz hoping tat i could feel much better after blogging...